Or as Beitman puts it, “Coincidences alert us to the mysterious hiding in plain sight.”. Was he there on May whatever date I was also there? they don't mean anything or matter in any way. One evening, as we were sitting around in the common area, chatting and doing homework, I overheard a kid telling his friends how he’d lost a bunch of money last year at Cedar Point. His interest in this particular type of coincidence is deeply personal. We picked it up and counted it; it was a very specific amount of money. And there are lots of people on this planet—more than 7 billion, in fact. I have to say it is such a romantic idea but one I do entirely believe in. The things on our minds seem to bleed out into the world around us. With very little attempt at chill I interrupted their conversation and grilled him on the particulars. So he came up with an alternative explanation. People have surprising, connective experiences, and they either create meaning out of them, or they don’t. Examples: I found out that wasn't invited to a party and then when I watch TV there was a stitch episode (not Leo and stitch but stitch, an anime spin off) about a surprise party and an h20 … It’s the same rational process we use to learn cause and effect. For many people coincidences are “all good”: If you wait long enough, you can probably find a positive outcome. Leaving a coincidence as nothing more than a curiosity may be a more evidence-based mindset, but it’s not fair to say that the people who make meaning from coincidences are irrational. If you meet someone who shares your birthday, that seems like a fun coincidence, but you might feel the same way if you met someone who shared your mother’s birthday, or your best friend’s. August 12, 2019. As you're reading, remember that the strangest of events can happen to anyone. But it’ll still seem like a coincidence when you do. This is the trouble with trying to find a deeper explanation for coincidences than randomness—it can quickly veer into the paranormal. This he called “synchronicity,” which in his 1952 book, he called an “acausal connecting principle.”. And structure is a much more appealing explanation than chance. “Extremely improbable events are commonplace,” as the statistician David Hand says in his book The Improbability Principle. People like patterns. What if he hadn’t brought it up? the first one happened a few days ago, I was sleeping and dreaming about my ex boyfriend who's my first love, and we had got into a fight and stopped talking about two weeks ago. It’s true that people are fairly egocentric about their coincidences. Do you often find yourself about to call or text your significant other only to receive a message from them at the same time? You could hypothesize from this that the power of genetics is so strong, that even when identical twins are separated, their lives play out the same way. CAMO has witnessed so many coincidences this year—events that might seem easily explainable, but if you consider how many things had to happen at exactly the right time, you might come to … And to this day, research shows that people who experience more coincidences tend to be more likely to believe in the occult as well. Even within the relatively limited sample of your own life, there are all kinds of opportunities for coincidences to happen. Then, “I was crying a lot and took the wrong way home, and there was the dog … I got into [studying coincidences] just because, hey, look Bernie, what’s going on here?”, For Beitman, probability is not enough when it comes to studying coincidences. It can still be very useful, especially for scientists who are working on unsolved questions, but for most adults in their daily lives, any new coincidental connection is likely to be specious. To the person who wins, it’s surprising and miraculous, but the fact that someone won doesn’t surprise the rest of us. In the middle we’ve got little Bernie Beitman did something here, I did it but I didn’t know how I did it.”, In the middle zone lie what Griffiths calls “suspicious coincidences.”, “To me, that’s a key part of what makes something a coincidence—that it falls in that realm between being certain that something is false and being certain that something is true,” he says. Jung seems to have been annoyed by this. If enough people buy tickets, there will be a Powerball winner. We have coincidences related to the movies and famous celebrities. Beitman in his research has found that certain personality traits are linked to experiencing more coincidences—people who describe themselves as religious or spiritual, people who are self-referential (or likely to relate information from the external world back to themselves), and people who are high in meaning-seeking are all coincidence-prone. “Coincidence is the language of the stars. Take the case of two twins, who were adopted by different families when they were four weeks old. When someone sees a pattern in a coincidence, “there’s no way I can say ‘Yes, that was definitely a chance event,’ or ‘There was an actual causal mechanism for it,’ because I’d have to know the world perfectly to be able to say that,” Osman says. Try to find the message in the coincidence. It may not be what we’re most comfortable with, but a “chaotic collection of curiosities” is what we’ve got. “A coincidence itself is in the eye of the beholder,” says David Spiegelhalter, the Winton professor for the public understanding of risk at the University of Cambridge. “I know there’s something more going on than we pay attention to,” he says. The overstuffed crate labeled “coincidences” is packed with an amazing variety of experiences, and yet something more than rarity compels us to group them together. This is an effect that the Stanford linguistics professor Arnold Zwicky calls “the frequency illusion,” and it’s not the same as a premonition. According to the ancient alchemists, and to the physicists of today, everything is just one thing only.” – Paulo Coelho “This would result in a chaotic collection of curiosities, rather like those old natural-history cabinets where one finds, cheek by jowl with fossils and anatomical monsters in bottles, the horn of a unicorn, a mandragora manikin, and a dried mermaid.”. Like just yesterday I was reading an article online that mentioned Tarzan, then practically at that exact moment there was a Tarzan commercial on TV. The next day my brother called, and told me my father had died at 2 a.m. in Wilmington, Delaware, which was 11 in San Francisco, and he had died by choking on blood in his throat. “Coincidence is the language of the stars, for something to happen, so many forces have to be put into action.” – Paulo Coelho . Even more so than skeptics, believers tend to think that repetitions in a sequence are less likely to be random—that a coin flip sequence that went “heads, heads, heads, heads, tails” would be less likely to come up randomly than one that went “heads, tails, heads, tails, heads,” even though they’re equally probable. She was on the Olympic when it collided with the HMS Hawke in 1911. Hein Nouwens / Shutterstock / Kara Gordon / The Atlantic, as byproducts of the brain’s meaning-making system, There Is a Paranormal Activity Lab at the University of Virginia, 1988 U.S. National Academy of Sciences report. From "The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire" by … I was shocked thinking I was having to many coincidences happen. Anybody could say anything.”. A word or a concept you’ve just learned feels relevant to you—you may have seen it hundreds of times before and just never noticed. “Random is not enough of an explanation for me.”, Random wasn’t enough for the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung either. But now that you’re paying attention, it’s more likely to pop out at you the next time it whizzes by. Did you like these quotes on synchronicity? And she survived. When you have many coincidences, this means you are resonating perfectly with the universe. But to explain why any individual coincidence happened involves a snarl of threads, of decisions and circumstances and chains of events that, even if one could untangle it, wouldn’t tell you anything about any other coincidence. In fact, the twins were part of a University of Minnesota study on twins reared apart that was asking just that question, though it didn’t suggest that there was any gene that would make someone attracted to a Betty, or likely to name a dog Toy. So there are several birthdays that person could have that would feel coincidental. Then a few days ago I thought about another one of my moms friends I thought that woman hasn't called for a while wonder how shes doing, then a few hours passed and she called. They’re looking for someone to do text-mining on it, but so far all they’ve been able to analyze is how many coincidences fall into the different categories you can check off when you submit your story: He says he’d categorize mine as “finding a link with someone you meet.” “But it’s a very different sort of connection,” he says, “not like having lived in the same house or something like that. Let’s start with one that a lot of people would call coincidence. Except they happen too frequently. Last night I was watching a movie and a guy hit his student with a hammer after asking him to help him. If you do, screen your therapist first for a belief in synchronicity. Most of the reason why so many people think that medicines work when they don’t isn’t a result of the placebo response, but it’s the result of a statistical artefact. From a scientific perspective, anyway. Another sort of mind-environment interaction is learning a new word and then suddenly seeing it everywhere. I suppose no one can prove there isn’t such a thing, but it’s definitely impossible to prove that there is. There isn’t going to be a dog, or even a picture of a dog, nearby every time a child hears the word “dog.” But if dad points at the family Fido enough times while saying “dog,” the kid will learn what the word means anyway. Either way, coincidences are groovy. Or if it was the day right before or after yours. The whole thing is starting to confuse me, it’s about a guy. If I’m with a stranger, I don’t try to find a connection with them, because I’m English.”, Beitman, on the other hand, says, “My life is littered with coincidences.” He tells me a story of how he lost his dog when he was 8 or 9 years old. I don’t remember now exactly how much, but for the purposes of this retelling, let’s say it was $134. And four years later, when White Star’s Britannic, reportedly improved after its sister ship’s disaster, also sank, Jessop was there. Because statistics can describe what happens, but can’t explain it any further than chance. I was like "omg" it was unbelievable how many coincidence I had in less than 3 months. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Your Privacy Controls. When you're evaluating a coincidence of your own, ask that question like a statistician, then a detective, then a seeker. There's been some really scary coincidences happening to me lately. So that was the end of that. Instead what we do is weigh whether it seems likelier that the event was caused by chance, or by something else. My friends and I were standing in line for this rollercoaster, winding up the dimly lit cement steps, when we turned a corner and came across a huge pile of money. You would have been six feet away from someone who lost their money. TheAtlantic.com Copyright (c) 2021 by The Atlantic Monthly Group. Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. Why coincidences happen Submitted by david on Wed, 09/04/2008 - 3:11pm When we experience a surprising event and wonder about the likelihood of such a coincidence, we may be able to use probability theory to work out the chance of it happening. If enough suspicious coincidences of a certain nature pile up, someone’s uncertainty can cross over into belief. Coincidences are not accidents but signals from the universe which can guide us toward our true destiny. Today, and a few days ago, many so-called coincidences have been happening. It freaked me out because I wasn't actually expecting the … And then the final category, mind-mind, of course, is straight-up mystical. So we have psychology to explain how and why we notice coincidences, and why we want to make meaning from them, and we have probability to explain why they seem to happen so often. Or it may lead to belief in fatalism, which is a doctrine that events will happen in the exact manner of a predetermined plan.In general perception of coincidence… It may be that researching the paranormal is partly an act of hope that you’ll find something where no one has found anything before. (I imagine it still is.) Listen to your “Higher Self.” Quiet your mind and listen. Meaningful coincidences were produced by the force of synchronicity, and could be considered glimpses into another of Jung’s ideas—the unus mundus, or one world. It was only because you were listening that you noticed it. Why Confounding Coincidences Happen Every Day David Hand, an emeritus professor of mathematics at Imperial College in London, believes that miracles and rare events actually aren't so uncommon. Today at school my TECH-ED Teacher asked me if I could hold the piece of wood while he hammers it done and he hit me! Maybe at least then we wouldn’t be so taken aback by a run-in on the street. But it seems like often, experiences are the building blocks of belief in the paranormal, or in an underlying force that organizes reality. They’re like dreams—mine is more interesting than yours. We had barely had time to whiplash from marveling at our good fortune to guiltily suggesting we should find somewhere to turn it in before a group of older kids ahead of us snatched the cash wad out of our hands. In fact, he did. But I disagree. In 1912, she was there for the big one: the Titanic. Coincidences are actually all around us all the time; it’s just a matter of looking for them. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. “Oh, those guys and their birthdays really get me mad,” says Bernard Beitman, a psychiatrist and visiting professor at the University of Virginia, and author of the forthcoming book Connecting With Coincidence. “Are you a person who believes the universe is random or are you a person who believes there’s something going on here that maybe we gotta pay more attention to? We were hapless, gangly middle schoolers (I was growing out my bangs; it was a rough year). We and our partners will store and/or access information on your device through the use of cookies and similar technologies, to display personalised ads and content, for ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Coincidences let you know you are going in the right direction. The question is where this feeling comes from, why we notice certain ways the threads of our lives collide, and ignore others. Drawing inferences from patterns like this is an advantageous thing to do, even when the pattern isn’t 100 percent consistent. To demonstrate how common unlikely-seeming events can be, mathematicians like to trot out what is called the birthday problem. “We banned premonitions from our site,” Spiegelhalter says. Déjà vu. And many people have.”. People are also likely to see coincidences when they are extremely sad, angry, or anxious. This is one way to scientifically explain how coincidences happen—as byproducts of the brain’s meaning-making system. Why Coincidences, Miracles And Rare Events Happen Every Day. Where you fall on the chance-structure continuum may have a lot to do with what you think chance looks like in the first place. $134, exactly. And it’s a very strong one, it’s not just like you were both at the theme park. According to the Law of Truly Large Numbers, “with a large enough sample, any outrageous thing is likely to happen,” Diaconis and Mosteller write. “You really come across a question of just what belief system you have about how reality works,” Beitman says. This is where we start to leave the realm of science and enter the realm of belief. In most cases it is so small that it would be barely perceptible to most patients. ... With so many opportunities, it soon becomes overwhelmingly likely that someone, somewhere, will see such a … While it would … There is an old meme that lists a seemingly eerie ... Coincidences do happen … Too Many Coincidences. They both suffered from tension headaches, and both vacationed in Florida within three blocks of each other. With so many chance events occurring to so many people around the world, stunning coincidences are only natural. This is one way to scientifically explain how coincidences happen—as byproducts of the brain’s meaning-making system. When someone asks “What are the odds?” odds are they aren’t asking “What are the odds that a coincidence of this nature would have happened to anyone in the room?” but more like “What are the odds that this specific thing would happen to me, here and now?” And with anything more complicated than a birthday match, that becomes almost impossible to calculate. I just looked at her and said "yeah". He has a website where people can submit them, and says he’s gotten about 4,000 or 5,000 stories since 2011. You are following the right path. What explanation is there for this things that keep happening? Or “you might not have heard him if you’d been somewhere slightly away,” Spiegelhalter says. “Because, where’s the proof? … ), but I rather like the image of coincidences as a curio cabinet full of odds and ends we couldn’t find anywhere else to put. Since I was about six, ( i'm 13 now) loads of weird coincidences keep happening to me and I don't know if I'm just over-reacting or if somthing weird is actually happening. Here are some examples; -- i was scrolling through facebook and saw a post about spiderwebs and how when you run into them, you act all nuts! Or getting a song stuck in your head and hearing it everywhere you go, or wondering about something and then stumbling onto an article about it. When something surprising happens, we don’t think about all the times it could have happened, but didn’t. I love that. “To grasp these unique or rare events at all, we seem to be dependent on equally “unique” and individual descriptions,” he writes, despairing of the lack of a unifying theory offered by science for these strange happenings. Research shows that while most people are pretty bad at generating a random string of numbers, people who believe in ESP are even worse. If a rare event happens in a forest and no one notices and no one cares, it’s not really a coincidence. So you’re left with … not much. Why have so many coincidences been happening to me lately? These coincidences are objectively observable. A nurse named Violet Jessop was a stewardess for White Star Line and lived through three crashes of its ill-fated fleet of ocean liners. But unless you happen to write down “I am thinking of so-and-so [timestamp]” before the call happens, these are cool for the person they happen to, but not really measurable. We retain this capability, even when we’re older and have figured out most of these more obvious patterns. They just might be your soulmate! But, though it makes them no less magical, life’s motifs are created not by the world around us, but by humans, by our attention. Where you fall on the continuum of explanation probably says more about you than it does about reality. Mind-environment coincidences are premonition-esque—you’re thinking of a friend and then they call you, for example. Okay so since school started I have had SO many coincidences happen to me! (A thriller novel called The Coincidence Authority has a professor character based on him.) “And yet the coincidence would have been there. Yet most statisticians argue that unlikely occurrences happen frequently because there are so many opportunities for surprising events to happen. This is supposed to be unappealing (surely these things should be put in order! If chance is the winner, we dismiss it. Yahoo is part of Verizon Media. That was a dramatic experience for me, and I began to look to see if other people had experiences like this. I told Spiegelhalter my Cedar Point story on the phone—I couldn’t help it. The question is how many people need to be in a room before there’s a 50/50 chance that two of them will share the same birthday. Take learning language as an example. Coincidences are remarkable in how they straddle these worlds. For example, if you’re together with four other people and you ask which month they were born in (or what astrological … If every time you flick a switch, a lamp across the room turns on, you come to understand that that switch controls that lamp. “Coincidences never happen to me at all, because I never notice anything,” Spiegelhalter says. While walking I told my self if they ask me why I'm buying batteries that it would be for my vibrator. And that same son of Lincoln's witnessed three presidential assassinations. In their 1989 paper, Methods for Studying Coincidences, the mathematicians Persi Diaconis and Frederick Mosteller considered defining a coincidence as “a rare event,” but decided “this includes too much to permit careful study.” Instead, they settled on, “A coincidence is a surprising concurrence of events, perceived as meaningfully related, with no apparent causal connection.”. “In San Francisco, in 1973, February 26, I stood at a sink uncontrollably choking,” he says, clarifying, “There was nothing in my throat that I knew [of].”, “It was around 11 o’clock in San Francisco. How much money did he lose? He went to the police station to ask if they had seen it; they hadn’t. Alan Martin ”. I may sound crazy, but I have had so many coincidences happen to me lately. Coincidences were, to him, meaningful events that couldn’t be explained by cause and effect, which, so far so good, but he also thought that there was another force, outside of causality, which could explain them. Everything starts to add up, then another coincidence pops up, and I’m even more confused. Im 16 and everything I do something seems to happen that relates to that. He collects coincidences, see. Personally, i am not … And so that’s why the amazing thing is not that these things occur, it’s that we notice them.”, “This is my big theory about coincidences,” he continues, “that’s why they happen to certain kinds of people.”. Though “What are the odds?” is pretty much the catchphrase of coincidences, a coincidence is not just something that was unlikely to happen. The same goes for someone who believes in divine intervention—a chance meeting with a long-lost lover may be, to them, a sign from God, not a coincidence at all. For Jung, synchronicity didn’t just account for coincidences, but also ESP, telepathy, and ghosts. Unfortunately, he and his colleagues haven’t done much with this treasure trove of information, mostly because a pile of freeform stories is a pretty hard dataset to measure. they are just similar random events occuring in a short time … The process by which we notice coincidences is “part of a general cognitive architecture which is designed to make sense of the world,” says Magda Osman, an associate professor in experimental psychology at Queen Mary University of London. And this is nowhere more obvious than in the coincidences that present as evidence for some kind of hidden but as-yet undiscovered ordering principle for reality, be that synchronicity or a sort of David Mitchell-esque “Everything Is Connected” web that ensnares us in its pattern. David Spiegelhalter, a network that connects everything and everyone occuring in a short time why... What happens, we dismiss it the theme park question is where start. 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